How Does Your Brain Score? Take the Staying Sharp Brain Health Assessment

Reply
Respected Social Butterfly
Posts: 2,477
Registered: ‎04-07-2015

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 61 of 2,525 (487 Views)

wind chimes.jpg

The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical. - Julius Erving
Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,533
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 62 of 2,525 (483 Views)

My Mother taught me about stamina... "You'll sit right there 'till all that spinach is finished."

 

My Mother taught me about weather.... "It looks like a tonado swept through your room."

 

My Mother taught me about the science of osmosis... "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

 

My Mother taught me about logic.... "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

 

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,533
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 63 of 2,525 (484 Views)

One of my children became quite irritable with me recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered. I was worried.. "   I smiled a warm smile... the torch has been passed.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,533
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 64 of 2,525 (534 Views)

Yesterday, my wife ran away with my best friend Mike.

 

Since when is Mike your best friend???

 

Since yesterday . Smiley Very Happy

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,533
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 65 of 2,525 (532 Views)

WHY DID GOD MAKE MOTHERS?

 

1.  She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2.  Mostly to clean the house.

3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,533
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 66 of 2,525 (530 Views)

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

 

"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance goodbye!"

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,533
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 67 of 2,525 (540 Views)

Because I feel that

in the Heavens above

The angels whispering

one to another..

Can find among their burning terms of love

none so devotional

as that of

"Mother".

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,533
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 68 of 2,525 (556 Views)

ASK NOT WHAT YOUR MOTHER CAN DO FOR YOU....

ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR MOTHER .♥

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,533
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 69 of 2,525 (610 Views)

Becoming a Grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,533
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 70 of 2,525 (599 Views)

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?