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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 61 of 2,640

RAGAMET:

 

When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

463 Views
Message 62 of 2,640

Maxine on "Driver Safety"..... "I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures."

 

Maxine on "Lawn Care"....... "The key to a nice looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless."

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Conversationalist

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

445 Views
Message 63 of 2,640
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and was for distribution of all wealth. She felt deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, which she expressed openly. One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. Based on the lectures that she had participated in and the occasional chat with a professor she felt that for years her father had obviously harbored an evil, even selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He stopped her and asked her point blank, how she was doing in school. She answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain. That she studied all the time and never had time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend and didn’t really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying. Her father listened and then asked, “How is your good friend Mary doing?” She replied, “Mary is barely getting by.” She continued, “She barely has a 2.0 GPA,” adding, “and all she takes are easy classes and she never studies.” “But Mary is so very popular on campus, college for her is a blast, she goes to all the parties all the time and very often doesn’t even show up for classes because she is too hung over.” Her father then asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s Office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your 4.0 GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0.” He continued, “That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.” The daughter visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion angrily fired back, “That wouldn’t be fair! I worked really hard for mine, I did without And Mary has done little or nothing, she played while I worked real hard!” The father slowly smiled, winked and said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”
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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

447 Views
Message 64 of 2,640

Happy first day of Fall !

 

The leg-shaving season is officially over !

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Respected Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

433 Views
Message 65 of 2,640

BonnieC10 wrote:

Listen to the wind....

It talks.

 

Listen to the silence....

It speaks.

 

Listen to your heart....

It knows !

 

 

 

Native American Proverb

 


Love it Bonnie!

;hoc voluērunt Gaius Julius Ceasar
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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

429 Views
Message 66 of 2,640

Listen to the wind....

It talks.

 

Listen to the silence....

It speaks.

 

Listen to your heart....

It knows !

 

 

 

Native American Proverb

 

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

432 Views
Message 67 of 2,640

Just took part in the easiest telephone survey ever...

 

The caller asked:

"Are you an alcoholic?"

 

I answered "Not yet."

 

She hung up.     Smiley Very Happy

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

450 Views
Message 68 of 2,640

I was going to be a Politician for Halloween, but my head wouldn't fit up my **bleep** !

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

496 Views
Message 69 of 2,640

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?

 

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

532 Views
Message 70 of 2,640

I called an old friend and asked what he was doing..

He said he was working on Aqua -Thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment.

 

I was really impressed !

 

Upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water, under his wife's supervision.   

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