Tell Congress to Oppose Any Tax Bill That Would Increase Taxes for Seniors! Take Action Now

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Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 41 of 2,621 (366 Views)

WHOEVER STOLE OUR A/C UNITS...  KEEP ONE.

IT'S HOT WHERE YOU'RE GOING !

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 42 of 2,621 (391 Views)

RAGAMET:

 

When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 43 of 2,621 (381 Views)

Maxine on "Driver Safety"..... "I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures."

 

Maxine on "Lawn Care"....... "The key to a nice looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless."

Conversationalist
Posts: 9
Registered: ‎08-18-2016

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 44 of 2,621 (362 Views)
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and was for distribution of all wealth. She felt deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, which she expressed openly. One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. Based on the lectures that she had participated in and the occasional chat with a professor she felt that for years her father had obviously harbored an evil, even selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He stopped her and asked her point blank, how she was doing in school. She answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain. That she studied all the time and never had time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend and didn’t really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying. Her father listened and then asked, “How is your good friend Mary doing?” She replied, “Mary is barely getting by.” She continued, “She barely has a 2.0 GPA,” adding, “and all she takes are easy classes and she never studies.” “But Mary is so very popular on campus, college for her is a blast, she goes to all the parties all the time and very often doesn’t even show up for classes because she is too hung over.” Her father then asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s Office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your 4.0 GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0.” He continued, “That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.” The daughter visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion angrily fired back, “That wouldn’t be fair! I worked really hard for mine, I did without And Mary has done little or nothing, she played while I worked real hard!” The father slowly smiled, winked and said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”
Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 45 of 2,621 (363 Views)

Happy first day of Fall !

 

The leg-shaving season is officially over !

Respected Social Butterfly
Posts: 1,987
Registered: ‎02-01-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 46 of 2,621 (351 Views)

BonnieC10 wrote:

Listen to the wind....

It talks.

 

Listen to the silence....

It speaks.

 

Listen to your heart....

It knows !

 

 

 

Native American Proverb

 


Love it Bonnie!

vita umbratilis
Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 47 of 2,621 (345 Views)

Listen to the wind....

It talks.

 

Listen to the silence....

It speaks.

 

Listen to your heart....

It knows !

 

 

 

Native American Proverb

 

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 48 of 2,621 (348 Views)

Just took part in the easiest telephone survey ever...

 

The caller asked:

"Are you an alcoholic?"

 

I answered "Not yet."

 

She hung up.     Smiley Very Happy

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 49 of 2,621 (366 Views)

I was going to be a Politician for Halloween, but my head wouldn't fit up my **bleep** !

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 50 of 2,621 (412 Views)

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?

 

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.