Call Your Senator at 844-222-0104 and Urge Them to Say No to the Graham-Cassidy Bill

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Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 21 of 2,572 (236 Views)

IF LIFE IS A WASTE OF TIME..

AND TIME IS A WASTE OF LIFE...

 

THEN LET'S ALL GET WASTED TOGETHER

AND HAVE THE TIME OF OUR LIVES.

 

 

 

Armand's Pizza Washington, D.C.

 

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 22 of 2,572 (240 Views)

The Governmental approach is to give you something sh--ty for free, then make you pay to get the sh--ty taste out of your mouth.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 23 of 2,572 (235 Views)

After starting a new diet, I altered my drive to work to avoid passing by my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning, and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed.... "Lord, it's up to you. If you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery."

And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was !

 

     God is good....

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 24 of 2,572 (224 Views)

"Good" and "Morning"....

 

Two words that go together like

"cordury" and "cheese".

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 25 of 2,572 (221 Views)

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree..

 

2.  You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

 

3.  Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

 

4.  You'd rather burn your yard than mow it.

 

5.  You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the highdive.

 

6.  The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

 

 

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 26 of 2,572 (227 Views)

One of the hardest lessons in life to learn,

is which bridge to cross, and which one to burn.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 27 of 2,572 (248 Views)

"I'm really enjoying the new Martin Luther Jr. stamp...

Just think about all those white bigots,

Licking the backside of a black man."

 

Dick Gregory      RIP

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 28 of 2,572 (265 Views)

If you stir coconut oil into your kale...

It makes it easier to scrape

Into the garbage..

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 29 of 2,572 (278 Views)

Some people should use a glue stick instead of Chap Stick !

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 30 of 2,572 (299 Views)

THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM......

 

SO SLEEP LATE AND GET A DOUGHNUT !