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RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2561 of 2,641

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by jacobirose

       Hearts Graphic #4

Joan I think you are doing geat !   -nell

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RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2562 of 2,641

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

STAGES OF SUCCESS ~so true :-)

        LOL Graphic #3

 

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RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,137 Views
Message 2563 of 2,641

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                    QUOTE OF THE DAY

Whatever you give to a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she will give you a baby. If you give her a house, she will give you a home. If you give her groceries, she will give you a meal. If you give her a smlle , she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So......... if you give her any crap, be ready to recieve a ton of sh-- !   

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RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,139 Views
Message 2564 of 2,641

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                     STAGES OF SUCCESS

 

At age 4, success is:    not peeing in your pants

At age 12, success is:  having friends

At age 16, success is:  having a driver's license.

At age 20, success is:  having sex

At age 35, success is:  having money

At age 50, success is:  having money

At age 60, success is: having sex

At age 70, success is: having a driver's license.

At age 75, success is:  having friends.

At age 80, success is:  not peeing in your pants!    

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RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,152 Views
Message 2565 of 2,641

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

An old Italian man is dying...

He calls his grandson to his bedside.."Guido, I wan' you to lissina me.

I wan' you take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns..how about you leave me your Rolex instead?"

"You lissena me,boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple a bambinos.

Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed wid another man......

Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "Time's up?"     

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RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,155 Views
Message 2566 of 2,641

 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10.....

"Can I borrow the dog?" Get in line  lol  

 

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RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,169 Views
Message 2567 of 2,641

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink...Looking around , he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says:

"I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck-naked. Man, she is one fine lookin' woman!"

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.

The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I've ever had!"

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still says nothing....

The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!!"

At this point the biker slowly stands up, takes the drunk by the collar, looks him square in the eye and says....................................

'GRANDPA....  GO HOME !!!"    

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RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,182 Views
Message 2568 of 2,641

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                                 CHURCH BULLETIN

A bean supper will be held Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.    

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.     

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RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,200 Views
Message 2569 of 2,641

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee,when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

                                     ~

 

A long, black hearse was followed by a second long, black hearse a few feet behind the first one.

 

                                     ~

 

Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.

 

                                   ~

 

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking, single file...... The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man.

                                     ~

"I am sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

                                   ~

"My wife's "

                                   ~

"What happened to her?"

                                  ~

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."

                                  ~

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

                                 ~

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife, when the dog turned on her."

                                      ~

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.

                                     ~

"Can I borrow the dog?"

                                     ~

The man replied....."Get in line"         

 

 

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RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,227 Views
Message 2570 of 2,641

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by jacobirose

 

Hi Joan, Welcome..... Best wishes, and pop in anytime.  

 

 

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