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Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,624
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 2511 of 2,618 (506 Views)

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 

                 Henny Youngman Italian style

 

A bomb fell on Italy... it slid off.

During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.

Why does the new Italian navy have glass bottom boats?

To see the old Italian navy.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,624
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 2512 of 2,618 (507 Views)

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC1

Henny Youngman's doctor jokes:

A doctor has a stethsoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "How do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me." 

 

A doctor says to a man, "You want to i mprove your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day."

Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you've been running?"

"I don't know....I'm 140 miles away!"   

 

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?"

"Limp!"       

 

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,624
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 2513 of 2,618 (514 Views)

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Hi Nell, glad to see you're back in business ! 

 

Bonnie

Gold Conversationalist
Posts: 517
Registered: ‎08-24-2008

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 2514 of 2,618 (517 Views)

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Bonnie

Im back for now AARP sent me a nice message and a new sign in woo hoo nell

 ALL PUNS INTENED ....... LOL 

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,624
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 2515 of 2,618 (507 Views)

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 

                      ALL PUNS INTENDED

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was salted.

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wans't much, but the reception was excellent.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,624
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 2516 of 2,618 (510 Views)

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 

              A SHORT STORY ABOUT ME

 

One day long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.

That would be me.......

But, that was a long time ago, and that was just for one day.    

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,624
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 2517 of 2,618 (511 Views)

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, "Cough!"

The doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying," Mrs. Cohen, your check came back."  Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

The doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!"  I AM 60 !! "See, what did I tell you?"

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,624
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 2518 of 2,618 (514 Views)

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 

A SIGN FOR YOUR DESK:

 

This isn't an office.....

It's hell with a flourescent light bulb!    

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,624
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 2519 of 2,618 (908 Views)

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                          SHORT STORY

 

Man driving down the road....

Woman driving up the road....

They pass each other and the woman yells out... "PIG !"

The man yells out......

"Bitch!"

The man rounds the curve, hits a pig in the middle of the road and dies .

Thought for the day.....

If men would just listen !    

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,624
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 2520 of 2,618 (916 Views)

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 

                        BUMPAH STICKAHS

 

Support BINGO..... keep Grandma off the streets.

Good bye tension...hello pension !

I've been diagnosed with CRS...can't remember sh-- !

I'm Retired..

I was tired yesterday,

I'm tired again today.                   

Retirement Planning & Consultants....

Fishmore & Doolittle