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Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 11 of 2,619 (292 Views)

Voting is like choosing your favorite mosquito out of a swarm.

 

 

 

Maxine

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

[ Edited ]
Message 12 of 2,619 (303 Views)

I could go for a hayride, or I could shove sharp sticks down my pants....same difference.

 

I must be sleepwalking... I've wandered into some bad Charlie Brown dream !

 

 

    HAPPY HALLOWEE!

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 13 of 2,619 (312 Views)

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind the teams' bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it." she replied "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents" !

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?

"Well... " she said, " I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, "Get the quarterback ! Get the quarterback "!   Hel-lllo.... it's only 25 cents !  I hate to think what they would do if it was a whole DOLLAR! "

 

 

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 14 of 2,619 (333 Views)

Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. A child may see his parents age 20 years.

 

 

On the Lighter Side

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 15 of 2,619 (348 Views)

Two monsters went to a Halloween party.  Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"

 

The other monster replied....   "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 16 of 2,619 (398 Views)

GO GREEN...

RECYCLE CONGRESS !

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 17 of 2,619 (414 Views)

Ah... this is great sleeping weather.

Of course, at my age what isn't ?

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 18 of 2,619 (422 Views)

By pumpkins fat,

And Witches lean...

 

By black cool cats,

With eyes of green.

 

By all the happiness ever dreamed,

I wish you all a safe Halloween !

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 19 of 2,619 (389 Views)

One fine day, in the middle of the night...

Two dead boys got up to fight.

 

Back to back they faced each other,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

 

A deaf policeman heard the noise,

Got up and shot the two dead boys.

 

If you don't believe this story's true...

Ask my blind Uncle, he saw it too !

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 20 of 2,619 (394 Views)

People say. "Great Boris Karloff mask", and you're not wearing a mask.

 

When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, and you lose your balance and fall over.

 

You ask for high fiber candy only.