The House Bill Would Mean a Tax Hike for Millions of Seniors. Learn More

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Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 91 of 2,619 (613 Views)

I keep a nude painting of myself in my livineg room.

Laugh if you want, but it sure keeps company from dropping by.

 

 

 

 

 

Maxine

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 92 of 2,619 (616 Views)

Those two are a fastidious couple...She's fast and he's hideous.

 

 

 

 

 

Henny Youngman

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 93 of 2,619 (655 Views)

No matter the price

No matter how new

The best safety device

In the car is you.

 

 

Burma Shave

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 94 of 2,619 (687 Views)

When I read about the evils of drinking... I gave up reading.

 

 

 

 

Henny Youngman

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 95 of 2,619 (713 Views)

GO GREEN...............  RECYCLE CONGRESS !

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 96 of 2,619 (695 Views)

OBAM-A -LAMA - DING DONG...

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 97 of 2,619 (707 Views)

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night !   Finally, I let her out.

 

My other brother-in-law died. He was a Karate expert, then he joined the Army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

[ Edited ]
Message 98 of 2,619 (739 Views)

You only take a bath when it rains....

 

Anytime your kids see a dog, they get out their ropes and lasso it and tackle it to the ground.

 

Your gun cabinet takes up half of your living room.

 

You save old kitchen appliances for children's Christmas presents.

 

Your master bathroom has the words "Porta" and "potty" written on the side.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

[ Edited ]
Message 99 of 2,619 (730 Views)

Actual GED test questions and results administered to 16 yr.olds:

 

Q.    What is a terminal illness?

A.    When you are sick at the airport.

 

Q.      What does the word "benign ' mean?

A.       Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,625
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 100 of 2,619 (706 Views)

SWIFT truck that's slow, equals........

 

OXY**bleep**