Call Your Senator at 844-222-0104 and Urge Them to Say No to the Graham-Cassidy Bill

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Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 91 of 2,572 (668 Views)

Ma loves Pa...

Pa loves women..

Ma caught Pa..

With two in swimmin'...

Here lies Pa.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 92 of 2,572 (667 Views)

My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel..

 

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 93 of 2,572 (659 Views)

It's been a rough day. I got up this morning and put on a shirt and a button fell off...I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom !

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 94 of 2,572 (674 Views)

St Peter looked down on the holiday celebrants and said....

 

"Ya all get in that pickup, and we're going up to the Big House !"

 

 

                           DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE !

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 95 of 2,572 (710 Views)

IT'S THE SOLDIER...... Not the reporter who gives you freedom of the press.

 

IT'S THE SOLDIER...... Not the poet who gives you freedom of speech.

 

IT'S THE SOLDIER...... Not the organizer who allows you to demonstrate.

 

IT'S THE SOLDIER...... Who salutes the flag, whose coffin is draped with the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag !!!

 

THANK YOU TO ALL THE SOLDIERS .... AND THEIR FAMILIES FOR THEIR SACRIFICES .

 

 

                                                 GOD BLESS OUR NATION

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 96 of 2,572 (701 Views)

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses

yearning to breathe free.

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless temptess - tossed to me.

I lift my lamp beside the golden door ! "

 

 

 

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 97 of 2,572 (700 Views)

IF YOUR MOM'S SPIT WOULD TAKE THE RUST OFF A CAR BUMPER...

you might be a redneck...

 

IF YOU HAVE UGLY KIDS AND DON'T KNOW IT...

you might be a redneck.

 

IF YOUR BABIES ARE NAUSEATED BY THE SMELL OF A CLEAN SHIRT..

you might be a redneck.

 

IF YOUR DIALOG DURING SEX INCLUDED , "DID YOU PAY THE LIGHT BILL?"

you might be a redneck.

 

 

 

 

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 98 of 2,572 (696 Views)

Do not squander time...that is the stuff life is made of.

 

The hashest critics are those

who fear criticism.

 

If you choose the behavior,

you choose the consequences.

 

My body has dropped so fast,

my GYN wears a hard hat.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 99 of 2,572 (706 Views)

I finally fixed that annoying noise in my car...

I opened the door and kicked him out.Smiley Tongue

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

[ Edited ]
Message 100 of 2,572 (726 Views)

GET A 'LOAD' OF THESE:

 

You dump it, we'll pump it.

 

You sh-- it, we get it !

 

We haul milk on the weekends

 

Yesterdays meals on wheels.

 

Back off ! We ain't haulin milk.

 

Got poop?

 

Your # 2, is our # 1

 

Another load of Politician's promises.

 

Satisfaction or 110% of your product back

 

A flush beats a full house !

 

Turd burgular

 

CAUTION.... This truck contains Obama's stimulous package.