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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

779 Views
Message 91 of 2,640

After starting a new diet, I altered my drive to work to avoid passing by my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning, and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed.... "Lord, it's up to you. If you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery."

And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was !

 

     God is good....

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

766 Views
Message 92 of 2,640

"Good" and "Morning"....

 

Two words that go together like

"cordury" and "cheese".

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

748 Views
Message 93 of 2,640

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree..

 

2.  You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

 

3.  Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

 

4.  You'd rather burn your yard than mow it.

 

5.  You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the highdive.

 

6.  The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

 

 

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

734 Views
Message 94 of 2,640

One of the hardest lessons in life to learn,

is which bridge to cross, and which one to burn.

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

741 Views
Message 95 of 2,640

"I'm really enjoying the new Martin Luther Jr. stamp...

Just think about all those white bigots,

Licking the backside of a black man."

 

Dick Gregory      RIP

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

745 Views
Message 96 of 2,640

If you stir coconut oil into your kale...

It makes it easier to scrape

Into the garbage..

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

742 Views
Message 97 of 2,640

Some people should use a glue stick instead of Chap Stick !

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

760 Views
Message 98 of 2,640

THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM......

 

SO SLEEP LATE AND GET A DOUGHNUT !

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

797 Views
Message 99 of 2,640

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, muscians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

878 Views
Message 100 of 2,640

Sign over one of the urinals:

 

EXPRESS LANE:

 

Five beers or less.

 

 

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