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Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 1 of 2,572 (9 Views)

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?

 

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 2 of 2,572 (58 Views)

I called an old friend and asked what he was doing..

He said he was working on Aqua -Thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment.

 

I was really impressed !

 

Upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water, under his wife's supervision.   

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 3 of 2,572 (74 Views)

PLOWING :    3/15    -    6/15

 

PLANTING:    5/1     -     6/15

 

              SUMMER

 

LULL:          7/10    -     8/14

 

HARVEST:     8/15   -     11/30

 

WEDDING:    NOV.  &     DEC.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 4 of 2,572 (110 Views)

"You cannot control the wind....

But you can control the sail..."

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 5 of 2,572 (183 Views)

If your friends can accurately guess your age...

You need to find dumber friends.

 

 

I find it helps to organize chores into categories.

Things I won't do now..

Things I won't do later..

Things I'll never do.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 6 of 2,572 (212 Views)

We pray for understanding as to

how and why this happened.

For the strength to deal with the loss.

 

For the courage to eventually

pick up the pieces and move on with life.

For the ability to one day forgive

those responsible for this great loss.

 

May God fill our hearts with love,

help take away the sorrow,

help heal the wounds.

May the laughter of the children

help us remember that

there is still good in the world.

 

And, may the warmth of the sun

shine down upon us and

help us find our smiles again.

 

September 11, 2001

 

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 7 of 2,572 (222 Views)

Our thoughts and prayers go out today for our neighbors in the South enduring the storms .   ♥

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 8 of 2,572 (242 Views)

At the current rate of legal & illegal aliens entering this country, August 2017 will be designated white history month.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 9 of 2,572 (264 Views)

Why is it after I push one for English,

I still can't understand the person

on the other end?

 

 

Emergency bailout....

Millions, Billions, Trillions...

Let's hope they fix it soon

We only have 23 letters

remaining in the alphabet.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 10 of 2,572 (291 Views)

My friend ( who is very blonde ) was running around every which way, searching all around her living room. "What are you looking for?" I asked her...

"Looking for the hidden camera." she replied.

Shocked, I asked "What makes you think there is a hidden camera?"

 

"That guy on TV knows exactly what I'm doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, "You are watching the shopping channel." How does he know that ! "