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Re: Ten Ways to Get People to Like You

Message 1 of 14 (383 Views)

ASTRAEA wrote:

My primary goal has always been for people to respect me, with liking me a distant second. Since I was a supervisor/manager, sometimes people "don't like" because you have high standards & hold them to it!

 

For a while at work, one of my responsibilities was the many parking lots at the plant, parking assignments, and people who parked illegally .. especially when we had extra contractors on site. I patrolled with a "Denver Boot" (AKA "Wheel Clamp"), that when installed meant someone couldn't move their vehicle! Boy did people not like that!! Smiley Happy


People are different.  I never try to get anyone to like me.  I have been a direct line supervisor and higher level manager from time to time and you are right, people that you have to discipline may not be that excited about it but I don't think that changes what most people think.  Anyway,  interesting.

I am sure you are right about that booting! : )

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: Ten Ways to Get People to Like You

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OK - So the other side of the coin is whether you've deliberately distanced yourself from a good/long-time friend, or just severed ties more abruptly? Why was that, and did you tell the person?


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Re: Ten Ways to Get People to Like You

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@nyadrn  I love your answer and I think many of us probably feel the same way!  As I said in an earlier post, I've been lucky enough to have a wide circle of friends and the lessons I learned about friendship as a child have stayed with me all through my life.  I'm always happy to make a new friend and I don't think I've scared anyone away.  Friendships go through stages and sometimes there is a slow, drifting apart...not due to an overt act but simply due to the lack of nurturing and both friends possibly pursuing separate arcs in their lives.  That's normal.

 

I think there are those who have sometimes wondered, "was it something I said?" if another person suddenly seems distant.  I just figure they're having a bad day.  I've had other people say to me, "I don't think so & so likes me!"  I'll ask, "what makes you say that?" and a whole narrative comes tumbling out.  Then there are people who are just socially inept and who always have a problem making and keeping friends.

 

I've also noticed, in some of my older friends and acquaintances, a tendency to be less patient at times...and one or two of them can get downright crabby...just like "Maxine!"

 

Thanks for your comments.  They help define the many facets of friendships and other relationships we humans take for granted sometimes!

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Re: Ten Ways to Get People to Like You

Message 4 of 14 (403 Views)

My primary goal has always been for people to respect me, with liking me a distant second. Since I was a supervisor/manager, sometimes people "don't like" because you have high standards & hold them to it!

 

For a while at work, one of my responsibilities was the many parking lots at the plant, parking assignments, and people who parked illegally .. especially when we had extra contractors on site. I patrolled with a "Denver Boot" (AKA "Wheel Clamp"), that when installed meant someone couldn't move their vehicle! Boy did people not like that!! Smiley Happy


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Re: Ten Ways to Get People to Like You

Message 5 of 14 (414 Views)

ASTRAEA wrote:

@nyadrn - I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit! There was another discussion about being open-minded about what other people think about us, because if everyone sees us differently than we see ourselves, then maybe that's something we would benefit from examining.


Thanks Astraea.  I agree with that.

Having worked in corporate American for so many years, my public face is very relaxed and easy going.  I think if you asked people they would say that just about everyone likes me and they should.  I keep opinions to myself, make it a point to be friendly to everyone and stay out of office gossip and politics.  That has worked very well for me.  Privately I really care little about what others do if they don't affect me which mostly they don't.  I concentrate on family and my own life and goals.  It works for me.  

 

What about you?  

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: Ten Ways to Get People to Like You

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@nyadrn - I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit! There was another discussion about being open-minded about what other people think about us, because if everyone sees us differently than we see ourselves, then maybe that's something we would benefit from examining.


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Re: Ten Ways to Get People to Like You

[ Edited ]
Message 7 of 14 (431 Views)

ASTRAEA wrote:

@Prosecco6247 - That's a great article & list! The catch-22 is when the people who would most benefit from reading & thinking about that list, are sure they have no need to! Smiley Happy We can all benefit from periodically thinking about these things!!


That's me   hahahahahha

 

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: Ten Ways to Get People to Like You

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Prosecco6247 wrote:

I was surfing through some blogs on health and family living and came across this article.  I thought it was interesting because many of us, as we get older, find ourselves criticizing the "younger" generation for perceived slights and deficits in their manners, all the while forgetting that we are often seen as gruff or unapproachable as age & minor aches and pains become our daily "companions."  What do you think?  How do we maintain our friendly demeanors and increase our likability factor?  Any tips?  Disagree with the article?

 >

 

Read more here:

http://funfamliving.com/ways-get-people-like-you-likable-person/


I read this, thought about it a minute and decided, no I have never wondered if people like me.  I am never going to read an article to see if there are ways that I can try to make people like me more, and I am probably never going to go around asking people if they do  : )

 

 

 

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: Ten Ways to Get People to Like You

Message 9 of 14 (460 Views)

@Prosecco6247 - It put things in perspective; I was at this event to support the organization's work, but other people attended to make business contacts, and between saying I was retired & had worked for a NYC-based company, people in NJ didn't see any benefit I could provide them!

 

Now that I think about it, Facebook may seem superficial in that you become "friends" with people you meet briefly at events, but FB is a way to learn what else they're interested in, and what's important to them .. like who's the animal lover, who cares about healthy eating, etc.


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Re: Ten Ways to Get People to Like You

[ Edited ]
Message 10 of 14 (463 Views)

ASTRAEA wrote:

@Prosecco6247 - Reading thru the list again, maybe there should be an item for not pigeon-holing anyone based on age, or having preconceived notions about what anyone's thinking or what is/isn't important to them, because of their age.

 

I think I've posted that the first fundraiser I attended surrounded by strangers, after I retired, I found that as soon as I said I was retired (when asked what company I worked for), the people I was talking to quickly walked away. Had this been a business networking event, that might have been a little understandable .. but a fundraiser for a domestic violence organization?!


Ouch!  That's pretty harsh!  I know what you're talking about because I've seen it happen.  I also know that the fact of being a widow will quickly scatter attendees at a function...I can only surmise that people assume you are "needy" when nothing could be further from the truth!  I'm fortunate to have a wide circle of friends...it's at "functions" that I discover that people shy away from anything different to their own frame of reference and quickly decide they have nothing in common with you.  Such a pity...they could be missing out on a rewarding friendship.  I am reminded of a thread  posted recently about a young gay man and his elderly female neighbor...their acquaintance created a strong bond and he even posts to a video blog, "My Neighbor Norma."

 

http://people.com/human-interest/california-man-cares-ailing-89-year-old-neighbor-final-days/

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.