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Frequent Social Butterfly
Posts: 262
Registered: ‎05-04-2011

Re: Widows Group?

Message 1 of 19 (1,044 Views)

mdwyer18 wrote:

I do see a therapist on/off as sometimes I get tired of hearing myself speak. she did give me a gem last week as I have regrets from the illness period ...... one can't judge a marraige from just this short period of time when there was illness. One needs to look at the entire marraige. That was helpful. Maybe will help others here. Thanks. 


That IS helpful. Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving! Best to forgive yourself, again and again and again. Also, i didn't mean to reply twice: the first message i thought it disappeared so i wrote a different one... oy.

 

i love hearing myself talk... ha ha. Typical extrovert.

Jane

Info Seeker
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎09-09-2012

Re: Widows Group?

Message 2 of 19 (1,068 Views)

I do see a therapist on/off as sometimes I get tired of hearing myself speak. she did give me a gem last week as I have regrets from the illness period ...... one can't judge a marraige from just this short period of time when there was illness. One needs to look at the entire marraige. That was helpful. Maybe will help others here. Thanks. 

Frequent Social Butterfly
Posts: 262
Registered: ‎05-04-2011

Re: Widows Group?

Message 3 of 19 (1,077 Views)

mdwyer18 wrote:

Hi Halie,

I am hurting for you and me both as I read your post. I read something the other day as I"m 8 months into this journey that has stuck with me: we can get past this, we might never get over it. If you are familiar with the 5 steps of grief, the first is denial and I feel like I'm stuck there. the days pass, I'm still working, but not 100% involved with anything, many days still move as in a fog, makeup and clothes, and cooking, not important anymore. Others don't know what to say, best not to talk with them Smiley Happy 

Be well, be strong. Sending Hugs.

Marilyn 


Hi Marilyn, I'm sorry you're in a fog. You will move forward but it does feel like moving in quicksand, in molasses. It just does. Have you found a counselor to talk to? I've noticed when i was grieving that one's closest friends do get weary of hearing how sad i am, or one more story. Although the closest ones, and my dear sister who is kind of stuck with me as kinfolk are, still hang in there. But there's nothing like having 50 minutes to spill and reflect, with no other agenda. It's a thought. What brings you joy?  Your cat or dog? Old funny movies? 

Keep talking, to us at least,

Jane

Frequent Social Butterfly
Posts: 262
Registered: ‎05-04-2011

Re: Widows Group?

Message 4 of 19 (1,086 Views)

ah2711 wrote:

Hello, I lost my husband(suddenly) also last Nov. The last 8 months has been a blur, but thank goodness I am still working fulltime(retiring 10/1/17)One of my 2 wonderful sons said " Mom, you have gone non stop for all these months doing stuff". One of the last things to do is to transfer AARP into my name alone. Guess it was comforting getting the magazine in his name? As far as grief groups our WI church used to have a group but no longer. You probably have found a group by now, but Funeral homes can help as well.We just bought a retirement home in Sun City and the church there has a group which I joined last March when I was there for 2 weeks. Thank goodness also for Grandkids ! Take care!

 


Hi there. I'm so glad you wrote and shared your story. I'm excited for you. As your retirement arrives, you have a precious opportunity to envision a new future, a creative chapter, an expansive story for yourself. I'd love to hear what evolves, myself. It is an exciting time. Check out the book, The Artist's Way, if you like, and do some of the creativity-inspiring exercises. Find a therapist/coach and really focus on the potential that retirement brings. Just some suggestions. It is a wide opening kind of time. Enjoy and embrace!

 

Jane

Info Seeker
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎01-06-2015

Re: Widows Group?

Message 5 of 19 (1,096 Views)

Hello, I lost my husband(suddenly) also last Nov. The last 8 months has been a blur, but thank goodness I am still working fulltime(retiring 10/1/17)One of my 2 wonderful sons said " Mom, you have gone non stop for all these months doing stuff". One of the last things to do is to transfer AARP into my name alone. Guess it was comforting getting the magazine in his name? As far as grief groups our WI church used to have a group but no longer. You probably have found a group by now, but Funeral homes can help as well.We just bought a retirement home in Sun City and the church there has a group which I joined last March when I was there for 2 weeks. Thank goodness also for Grandkids ! Take care!

 

Info Seeker
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎09-09-2012

Re: Widows Group?

Message 6 of 19 (1,431 Views)

Hi Halie,

I am hurting for you and me both as I read your post. I read something the other day as I"m 8 months into this journey that has stuck with me: we can get past this, we might never get over it. If you are familiar with the 5 steps of grief, the first is denial and I feel like I'm stuck there. the days pass, I'm still working, but not 100% involved with anything, many days still move as in a fog, makeup and clothes, and cooking, not important anymore. Others don't know what to say, best not to talk with them Smiley Happy 

Be well, be strong. Sending Hugs.

Marilyn 

Info Seeker
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎12-29-2014

Re: Widows Group?

Message 7 of 19 (1,436 Views)
It's always hard to lose your love. I lost the love of my life/husband to suicide this past April. I know it hasn't been very long but I'm so tired of hurting like this. Everyone says it will be ok but NO it will NEVER be ok. It will get better but will NEVER be ok. I miss him every moment of the day. You don't understand or know how someone feels unless you've been through it yourself. I feel for you. Hope one day things won't hurt as much and you won't be as lonely.
Do the best you can. Take care.
Halie
Love With All
Info Seeker
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎08-08-2015

Re: Widows Group?

Message 8 of 19 (1,457 Views)

Thank you so much!

 

Ava

Info Seeker
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎09-09-2012

Re: Widows Group?

Message 9 of 19 (1,483 Views)

HI and thanks for sharing. I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish i had  words of encouragement to give you but i know you've heard them all. Time, we all just need time. 

I went through the Griefshare program here one and a half times. I might get back to it again later. An excellent program. Be well, be strong, have faith.

MD

Info Seeker
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎08-08-2015

Re: Widows Group?

Message 10 of 19 (1,489 Views)
Hi I lost my husband suddenly on May 30, 2017. We were newly weds of 6 months. I am attending a Grief share group in my area. I'm glad I did. We are in week #4. I live in Gainesville, FL....Go Gators!