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Regular Social Butterfly
Posts: 442
Registered: ‎05-25-2009

Re: I dont see any posts about grieving the loss of an adult sibling here

Message 1 of 3 (1,076 Views)

I am so sorry for your loss; went through this earlier this year for my brother-in-law of 20 years who was also friend of 40 years.

 

Obviously not biological, but considering he and my sister have 10 year old daughter...

 

Loss is painful; I moved on thinking of Steve every day and what he would do (e.g., wait for someone to move into the lane at construction; that gentleman caused me to turn onto side street and cry for 30 minutes).

 

I think the thing is to honor them always in everything we do, so be nice to each other and treat each other well!

Phil Harris, actor and showman, to John Fogerty of CCR: “If I’d known I’d live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.”
Frequent Social Butterfly
Posts: 262
Registered: ‎05-04-2011

Re: I dont see any posts about grieving the loss of an adult sibling here

Message 2 of 3 (1,106 Views)

Thank you so much for sharing your experience of love for your sister, and the deep loss you feel. You are so right: a sibling is a grounding, affirming peer experience for most people, someone you have known for most if not all of your memory, depending if they are older or younger than you.

 

What a GREAT idea, to create a facebook page for just the two of you. Wow, stroke of genius. 

 

I am also so glad you had that moving experience of her presence. I have been the beneficiary of guided imagery, and have had many conversations that way. It sounds like the experience was comforting and heartening for you. That experience is such a gift and blessing.

 

So glad you have mentioned this important special grief. My sister had a terrible cancer 7 years ago, and i live in fear that it will return and take her. I never mention this to her, of course. It feels pretty selfish. But i also wish she would outlive me for the sake of her dear husband and 3 children. And, for me!

 

Write some more?

Jane

Info Seeker
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎02-02-2010

I dont see any posts about grieving the loss of an adult sibling here

[ Edited ]
Message 3 of 3 (1,130 Views)

I lost my dear little sister to an accident 28 months ago, and it has been and still is very difficult to deal with the loss.  It gets worse at the holidays and all the anniversary dates that relate to her.  I feel like my own life got blown apart when she passed half my heart died with her that day.  She was 53 at the time of her passing I was 57.  We were best freinds and sisters, she was my only constant in my life for my entire life.  Now I feel so lost without her, she was my compass.  It is written in many articles that sibling loss and the greif of such gets left out of all the other grief, almost like it doesnt matter and it doesnt affect us, the living siblings that are still here.  I will tell you it matters and it is very painful.  I am sorry for all of you suffering from the loss of a loved one.  I lost my father when I was 6 yrs old and my mom was 64 when she passed, and my little sister is all that I have left of the ones in my family that I truly love.  For those that still stuggle and we ALL do from time to time as there really is no way to GET OVER a profound loss, a freind of mine whom has recently lost her mother, told me to create a private face book page for just me and my sister, just dont publish the page.  Great advice as now I have a place to go to share and talk to her, just her and I and it is private no one can see it but her and I.  One last thing, for those that may doubt that our loved ones are gone forever, they are in the sense of a physical body, but thier spirit lives on all around us, and I was very blessed on my sister 2nd angelversary to be able to actually see her and speak with her and she spoke back, I was wide awake, this was not a dream.  I was in deep meditation.  That was very profound to me as I had been hoping to be able to do this and finally was able to actually see that she is fine now and without the pain she had here while on earth.  Love and blessings and prayers to all that read this post.  Yes I am still deeply sad right now, but I know that the sadness comes from the deep love and bond we had while she was still here in her physical body.