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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Anyone Else Enjoy Being A Loner?

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Message 11 of 23

Soosie wrote:

I like having friends, but find that I have more aquaintances rather than friends, especially in my current state of S. C.  Most of the women have been married forever and are always taking care of grandchildren.  Since I don't fit this category, I have learned to really enjoy my own company.  Sometimes I think I may have gone too far.  >>

 

 

Soosie


I can relate to this.  I have no problem living alone.  I like doing things with family and friends but usually at their homes or out somewhere and I am sure that is because then I can control how long I stay.   One of the big things that the 55  communities push is socialization..  I left thinking that I did not really want to be part of a group that got together every day.  I would not mind once in a while but I wondered how accepting people would be of that kind of attitude where you did not want to be part of the group every day.  

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Anyone Else Enjoy Being A Loner?

2,024 Views
Message 12 of 23

@ASTRAEA Smiley Happy Ye old conundrum of the theoretical versus the actual. 

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Anyone Else Enjoy Being A Loner?

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Message 13 of 23

@Epster - Funny t-shirt!

 

Kind of reminds me of the Charles Schulz' quote, "I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."


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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Anyone Else Enjoy Being A Loner?

1,733 Views
Message 14 of 23

introverts.jpg

 

This shirt reminds me of a t-shirt I had back when I was 15 and living alone in a trailer with just one of the 'modern' conveniences: running water. The trailer was located near a river at the end of a winding mountain road on an Indian reservation. The closest village was a mile away and sported a dozen homes, most of which were occupied sporadically. (translation: boy did I have solitude going for me!)

 

The shirt in question had the word "Go" printed on the front and back. I embroidered the word "Away" underneath those. At 15, I found that hilarious, however the missionaries, when they came knocking, scolded me for being rude. What rude, I wondered. Just direct and honest. LOL. 

 

 

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Anyone Else Enjoy Being A Loner?

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Message 15 of 23

@Soosie - Sorry I missed this post when it first came out! I've been on my own since 1981, except for 2-1/2 years when my elderly aunt moved in with me. I had to bite my tongue when family & friends would say, "Isn't it nice, having company in the house?" I was a caregiver, even when my aunt did most things for herself, and I didn't feel lonesome before or after she was there!

 

I have a friend who's an extreme extrovert, and thinks that everyone should be or must want to be like her. I read up on extroverts & introverts, and although I can be outgoing & social, I'm just as happy being alone. I find it draining to be out & about at large social events, more than once or twice a week!

 

Tangentially, I don't like when tradesmen charge by the hour, because it motivates them to slow down, often times wanting to "chat" with me. When I had a handyman in for a bunch of smaller jobs, right after I bought this house, I too couldn't wait for him to finish & leave, by 4 or 5 PM!! Smiley Happy


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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Anyone Else Enjoy Being A Loner?

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Message 16 of 23

m933902a wrote:

I enjoy being a loner for the most part but I don't want to grow old alone. Does that make sense?


@m933902a  Indeed, this does make sense.

 

This is one of the reasons we plan to move into a retirement community when we are 85ish (whenever it is that we decide living on the road in our RV isn't fun or safe anymore). We are both the youngest in our families and we do not have children, so by that time we might not have have any family left. So we plan to become the table tennis and/or shuffleboard champs of the XYZ community. Ha ha. 

 

 

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Trusted Social Butterfly

Re: Anyone Else Enjoy Being A Loner?

1,170 Views
Message 17 of 23

m933902a wrote:

I enjoy being a loner for the most part but I don't want to grow old alone. Does that make sense?


It does to me..........


Just think. The world was built by the lowest bidder.
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Silver Conversationalist

Re: Anyone Else Enjoy Being A Loner?

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Message 18 of 23

I enjoy being a loner for the most part but I don't want to grow old alone. Does that make sense?

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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Anyone Else Enjoy Being A Loner?

1,127 Views
Message 19 of 23

retiredtraveler wrote:

I'm with you. Now, it might very well be different to be a loner who is unmarried. I consider myself a loner, but do have constant companionship with DW (sometimes too much after 40 years). Smiley Wink

    We also have a fair amount of family/inlaws.

    On the other hand, I do some travel by myself, including two-week trips to the UK every year. I enjoy that. I have some interaction with people at the B&B's where I stay, but I walk/hike by myself most of the day, and find that enjoyable.  

    I think you have to define the term 'loner' in context.

  


@retiredtraveler Hmmm, yes. I see DH & me in that comment about too much companionship with one's spouse. Not lately, for DH has been driving into the company office, but in his previous assignment he found it more efficient to work from home and Skype into meetings. That assignment took almost 3 years, and there were times we got on one another's nerves, so yes, I hear ya. 

 

As for the definition of loner, while I cannot speak for the OP, for me, at least the Huffington Post piece (link posted in an earlier comment) describes me to a T. I should maybe correct something. Below I used the word shy to describe myself, but that's not accurate. Truth is I have always been uncomfortable with the spotlight. Shy, I just read, is when someone worries about what others think of them. That's not one of my isms. Smiley Happy

 

Back to solitude: my equilibrium is fed by solitude. I will often retreat into solitude after a big gathering has all but wrung the life out of me and come back fully charged.

 

 

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Trusted Social Butterfly

Re: Anyone Else Enjoy Being A Loner?

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Message 20 of 23

I'm with you. Now, it might very well be different to be a loner who is unmarried. I consider myself a loner, but do have constant companionship with DW (sometimes too much after 40 years). Smiley Wink

    We also have a fair amount of family/inlaws.

    On the other hand, I do some travel by myself, including two-week trips to the UK every year. I enjoy that. I have some interaction with people at the B&B's where I stay, but I walk/hike by myself most of the day, and find that enjoyable.  

    I think you have to define the term 'loner' in context.

  


Just think. The world was built by the lowest bidder.
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