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Conversationalist
Posts: 7
Registered: ‎01-19-2017

Re: caring for elderly parents

Message 11 of 16 (561 Views)

 Both parents are on social security and are renting  they do not have savings of any kind. Neither one is a veteran. My husband didn't have parents. He was raised by different relatives so he doesn't quite understand. Again it shouldn't only be my problem but I'm the only one willing to step up. I'm blessed that my five children stepped up when I broke my hip because my husband didn't take care of me

Frequent Social Butterfly
Posts: 135
Registered: ‎05-04-2011

Re: caring for elderly parents

Message 12 of 16 (556 Views)

t906342b wrote:

   That's exactly my dilemma. The Bible says when we marry, we become one, forsaking our parents and all others. It also says to honor your mother and father and take care of the elderly. My siblings work yes, but like everyone else these days they are struggling most of the time to just survive. Mom has exhausted all medical funding. I know my siblings should step up but they aren't going to and I feel that ultimately I'm not responsible for their actions only my own. So again do you forsake parents in need of medical help or stay with your husband?

Spoiler
 

You know your family better than i do, certainly, but... why is this ONLY YOUR PROBLEM?  Survival or no survival, they are struggling and you're trying to keep your marriage together. Helloooooooo?  I'm calling out to your siblings.

 

There are ways to find funding. Reverse mortgages can pay for help while your folks live there and when they die, the house goes to the bank. that is one of many ways. An eldercare lawyer can help you all look for options. Including medicaid. Are either of your parents veterans? there are options there as well. 

 

how about a meeting at her rehab facility with everyone coming to visit her and then gathering in a conference room and working out a plan?  there should be a social worker there who can help. 

 

does your husband have elderly parents? is he going to refuse to help them when the time comes?

 

 

Conversationalist
Posts: 7
Registered: ‎01-19-2017

Re: caring for elderly parents

Message 13 of 16 (500 Views)

I live 3 hours West of my parents, a brother and sister live 3 hours north of them while another sister lives close to them. Again she works also and won't sacrifice for the parents

Conversationalist
Posts: 7
Registered: ‎01-19-2017

Re: caring for elderly parents

Message 14 of 16 (495 Views)

   That's exactly my dilemma. The Bible says when we marry, we become one, forsaking our parents and all others. It also says to honor your mother and father and take care of the elderly. My siblings work yes, but like everyone else these days they are struggling most of the time to just survive. Mom has exhausted all medical funding. I know my siblings should step up but they aren't going to and I feel that ultimately I'm not responsible for their actions only my own. So again do you forsake parents in need of medical help or stay with your husband?

Spoiler
 
Frequent Social Butterfly
Posts: 135
Registered: ‎05-04-2011

Re: caring for elderly parents

Message 15 of 16 (433 Views)

t906342b wrote:

I am trying to figure out what is biblically correct. My mom was in a car accident on November 17 and has been hospitalized since. She went to rehab this week. They say she can't come home unless there's someone to take care of her full time. My dad is also in bad health and shouldn't be left alone. I have two sisters who both work and a brother who works. I have been out of work since I broke my hip in may. My husband and I have been separated most of the time since may die to marital issues. We've both wanted to work it out but one thing or another has called me away. I moved my things back in the week before Mom's accident. I feel I'm obligated to take care of them since I don't work and asked my husband about moving close to my parents but he won't even consider it. I basically have to choose between my parents and my husband and I'm so confused.


Well, there's honor your father and mother. And there are the vows you took when you married.

 

There's got to be a way to do both. Okay you have 3 siblings who work. That means that they are not completely broke. They can donate to your parents to pay for home health aides to come into the home. Sounds like family meeting time. What do you folks need? Do they have savings? THIS is the rainy day, folks; time to dip into the rainy day fund. How far are you away from them? How far are you siblings?

 

Family meeting time. right away. 

 

keep talking right here. let's work this out. i will look for your posts, and other wise folks will too. 

 

jane

Conversationalist
Posts: 7
Registered: ‎01-19-2017

caring for elderly parents

Message 16 of 16 (344 Views)

I am trying to figure out what is biblically correct. My mom was in a car accident on November 17 and has been hospitalized since. She went to rehab this week. They say she can't come home unless there's someone to take care of her full time. My dad is also in bad health and shouldn't be left alone. I have two sisters who both work and a brother who works. I have been out of work since I broke my hip in may. My husband and I have been separated most of the time since may die to marital issues. We've both wanted to work it out but one thing or another has called me away. I moved my things back in the week before Mom's accident. I feel I'm obligated to take care of them since I don't work and asked my husband about moving close to my parents but he won't even consider it. I basically have to choose between my parents and my husband and I'm so confused.