Tips for choosing an assisted living center

[IsaacS412914]

We are in the process of choosing an assisted care living center for my father. It is a challenge to say the least, especially since we do not know what to look for with certainty.

We thought a smaller place would be better because they have better ratios of care givers to patients. However the smaller place during the day - everyone seems sad and depressed. No one talks to each other, they just sit around staring at nothing. Bigger places people seem to be doing things, interacting, etc. One place has a physical therapy clinic in the building.

Others he would have to have physical therapy come in and work with him in his room.

There is a place in a house that is very close to our house, but it is small, dark, and everyone just sits staring. The rooms are tiny and the patients just sit in wheelchairs side by side staring at the TV. There are only five residents (all women). Dad is mentally good - although some places said he needs memory care (he doesn't but he cannot answer who the president is because he just does not care so they think he has dimentia. Some places listen to us and ask him questions about things he cares about, other places have their set questions with check boxes and will not vary from their protocol.) He cannot hear very well at all. Right now he cannot get up on his own, but once up, he can walk with a walker. He needs two people to help him get up. He has been pretty much laying in bed all day since the beginning of November. He needs a place that will get him up every day. Most place say they will do that, but some clearly will not.

Does anyone have experience with multiple assisted care places or nursing homes? Any ideas how to identify ones that will provide better care vs. ones that will simply leave patients in bad so they can tap on their phones? Other suggestions?