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Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 35
Registered: ‎08-28-2016

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 51 of 257 (1,202 Views)

My dogs are precious friends I do not know how I would cope without them. 

GEH
Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 35
Registered: ‎08-28-2016

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 52 of 257 (1,196 Views)

The liver doctor believed there is still health and life left in his liver if he would stay of Alcohol there is no telling how many years he would have but he will not stop drinking so I fear he will be gone by christmas. I fear he is in denial off his condition and addiction and had fallen into a depression and is giving up. I do not know how to reach him. 

GEH
Regular Social Butterfly
Posts: 409
Registered: ‎04-28-2014

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 53 of 257 (1,212 Views)

geh66 wrote:

No he keeps saying HE won't be around much longer, his ex wife died in April 2016 of a ruptured hernia I am his 3rd wife


Oh i see. I hope he does get better and feels better. What does his doctor say?

 

He is so lucky to have you in his life.

 

Those dogs sounds like precious friends.

 

Jane

Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 35
Registered: ‎08-28-2016

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 54 of 257 (1,216 Views)

My dogs are wonderful my Nicknames for them are Mr hugs and Mr kiddies. The one thought that I hold on to that keeps me going is My husband is not a bad man that needs to get better he is a very sick man who needs to get well.

 

 

 

 

 

GEH
Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 35
Registered: ‎08-28-2016

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 55 of 257 (1,209 Views)

Thank You for your words if support.

GEH
Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 35
Registered: ‎08-28-2016

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 56 of 257 (1,163 Views)

No he keeps saying HE won't be around much longer, his ex wife died in April 2016 of a ruptured hernia I am his 3rd wife

GEH
Regular Social Butterfly
Posts: 409
Registered: ‎04-28-2014

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 57 of 257 (1,203 Views)

Hey GEH,

I'm so glad you have your wonderful dogs to comfort you. You do have your hands full otherwise. Your parents have their own struggles, his sons are young men with lots going on and a thousand miles away. You have the NAMI app, thank goodness for that. 

 

You mentioned that your husband gets depressed and says that you won't be around for much longer? is that right? You are not his first wife, i take it. I can see how he might have a history of driving people 'crazy, and away.'  I have a friend who's second husband was like that. He is currently being cared for by his 2 children, each of whom have jobs and families. His 9th wife is divorcing him so that she can avoid being brought down, financially and otherwise, by his decline. He's much older, in his 80s, and a hot mess. But with a long history of bipolar alcoholic mental illness. Enough charm to attract 9 different women to be married to him. But now that he's falling apart, it's his 2 blood kin who are taking him on. Fortunately he's a veteran and is eligible for a bunch of help. This includes placement in a facility, which is the next step unfortunately. He flushes his drugs down the toilet... sigh. His own worse enemy.

 

I hope you have friends, even just one, who can listen to you and not pass judgment, but just be a loving presence and a pleasant distraction from your daily battle. 

 

After you cry (and crying is a great catharctic activity in my own life), what helps you keep going?

 

Jane

Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 35
Registered: ‎08-28-2016

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 58 of 257 (1,224 Views)
Another Poem
I shed Tears
Tears of Anguish
Tears of Anger
Tears of Despair
Tears of Frustration
Tears of Outrage
Tears of Pain
Tears of Sadness
GEH
Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 35
Registered: ‎08-28-2016

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 59 of 257 (1,191 Views)
My husband will NEVER willingly give me conservertorship I WILL have to go to get a lawyer and go to court to do it, That is one of or part of his mental health issues CONTROL, I chalk it up to the possibility he is feeling a sense of control of his life due to his mental health and subsequent addiction/Substance abuse issues. I am biding my time because I am feeling it is only a matter of time he ends up in hospital again and that is when I will act so that I can keep him in the hospital last time he was in hospital he left against doctors wishes.
GEH
Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 35
Registered: ‎08-28-2016

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 60 of 257 (1,197 Views)

My Husband has 2 sons in Washington State but they are in their early twenties and are just not able to be of help they are young and immature they younger one has 3 daughters the oldest of which is 3 and is struggling to cope with parent hood, my parents do not know that I am married to this man but are aware I am trying to help care for him and my mother is facing her own issues with my father who is in his eighties and showing signs of some kind of mental issue he forgets things misplaces things and swings from amgry to happy in a new york second she has her own health issue and is recovering from a broken hip so I choose not to burden her with my issues. I have searched and searched for some form of support group and there are none, I did find NAMI AIR and have the app on my cell phone so I can go there to talk sometimes when husband is sleeping good I go sit outside with my dogs Big Red (Mr Hugs) and Shorty (Mr Kissy) and just cry big red will get on his hind legs wrap his doggie arms around my neck pull my head into his chest and give me a bug huge bear hug, to which he ussually does not want to let go, then Shorty takes a turn giving me lots of wet doggie kisses so much doggie love Iam a luck lady and I tell them that and most times it helps. 

GEH