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Info Seeker
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎03-21-2015

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 241 of 278 (2,352 Views)

My husband had a wreck back in 2003 his knee and ankle got really messed up he was a truck driver for 25 years and the dr told him he would never drive again so that put him a the depression in n out bipolarand schizophrenianow he's talking about 14 medications he can not remember anything and he falls alot he has had 6 surgerys and will have to have more knee surgerys every year i cannot every get a job to help with the bills he is disabled so i understand how hard it is to be a caregiver i have been told i could be paid for taken care of my husband if anyone knows any informationthat might help us please let me knom  God Bless Everyone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Regular Social Butterfly
Posts: 409
Registered: ‎04-28-2014

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 242 of 278 (2,456 Views)

loveabull wrote:

I don't know if I've written on this thread before. Last night I did finally reach out to one of the Parkinson's support groups, that is a support group for caregivers. Hubby is 58, think he's still considered " young onset". It's just how much he's changed in just a few short years. I pin the decline to two years ago. I adopted a male American Bulldog. The idea was when we walked on hubby's nights off he could walk daddy's boy and I could walk the girl who is very bonded to me. But he walked Callie only once. Since then his walking has become very difficult. I remember him just three years ago. In the days before Callie we took the girl for an off leash run at the nature reserve. Hubby hiked the trails with us with no effort. So very different from where we are now.


Hi loveabull,

 

So how was the support group? did you meet anyone who's spouse was diagnosed as young as yours was? were there any tips you found helpful? you were encouraged?

 

i've heard that people with Parkinson's have a fun time dancing, because the motor control for dancing is different than the motor control that is so damaged by Parkinson's. I found a scholarly article saying it's worth a try: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2780534/   But more than that, it is fun and you can do it too.

 

Rooting for you both,

 

Jane

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 1,123
Registered: ‎07-03-2011

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 243 of 278 (2,508 Views)

I don't know if I've written on this thread before. Last night I did finally reach out to one of the Parkinson's support groups, that is a support group for caregivers. Hubby is 58, think he's still considered " young onset". It's just how much he's changed in just a few short years. I pin the decline to two years ago. I adopted a male American Bulldog. The idea was when we walked on hubby's nights off he could walk daddy's boy and I could walk the girl who is very bonded to me. But he walked Callie only once. Since then his walking has become very difficult. I remember him just three years ago. In the days before Callie we took the girl for an off leash run at the nature reserve. Hubby hiked the trails with us with no effort. So very different from where we are now.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 1,696
Registered: ‎06-25-2013

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 244 of 278 (2,554 Views)

"They could be Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA) - which are like mini-strokes but even these will cause some damage. "

___________________________________________________________________________________

Gail,   please re-consider changing that verb from "will" cause to "may" cause.   

 

My doc reluctantly admitted to me 4 years ago - when I pressed  -  she thinks I had a mild TIA on the eve of checking into hospital (for something totally unrelated to CVA,  pelvic surgery)   

 

When I reported the symptoms (leaning to one side, unable to straighten up,  then grey/black curtain coming down over one eye,  leaving me blind for a few minutes in that eye) she concurred it was probably stroke. 

 

However,  after the episode was over,  I did not feel I suffered damage in any way,  everything, including eyesight,  balance,  returned to normal.  Nor could any of the doctors later at the hospital detect any damage from this suspected TIA.     

 

So I don't believe one can make a blanket statement that TIA-type mini-strokes will cause "some"  damage always.   

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 8,457
Registered: ‎08-18-2008

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

[ Edited ]
Message 245 of 278 (2,560 Views)

@   mf70661080 - reply to your 2/23/2015 post

 

CVA or "cerebral vascular accident" is really just another name for a stoke.  All stokes do some damage but where they are located in the brain determines what effects they may have on the person.

 

They could be Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA) - which are like mini-strokes but even these will cause some damage. 

 

It sounds to me that he could be having more with the weakness in his legs.

 

He really needs to have those neurological studies done - probably with a brain scan.  Only that way you will know how much damage there is and what might be expected for the short and long term and can make any plans that you have to make for the level of care he might need.

 

Hang in there and hopefully you will know something soon.  If he has a male friend or a son / nephew close by, maybe you could ask them to spend a bit of time with him just so you can get out a bit, weather permitting. 

 

Here is an article on Strokes - symptoms and types from WEBMD 

http://www.webmd.com/stroke/guide/stroke-symptoms-types -

read especially the SYMPTOMS of A Stroke

 

Good Luck.

 

 

 

Info Seeker
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎02-23-2015

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 246 of 278 (2,584 Views)
One week ago my spouse , (76 years old) was admitted to hospital for 4 days and released home with vague diagnosis of " cva" he was starting to have some confusion so we were told he was having sundowners syndrome and being home would make it better. No diagnosis of dementia or if a stroke caused this!
Day after he got home he started having leg weakness and now needs a walker and that is not safe. He can barely feed himself , doesn't want to eat and looks at me blankly frequently. It takes lots of instruction to just get out of his chair etc, etc!!
Sometimes he seems like his old self( especially when Drs ask questions and if friends visit. Other times he has no clue We don't have a diagnosis ...this was sudden and I am already so stressed I don't know what to do! Haven't had neuro follow up due to inclement weather. ....maybe tomorrow! I hope!!!! Does anyone know if this is dementia or Alzheimer's or from a stroke?
I am lost. Friends offer help but they can't really . I can't leave someone who needs help to urinate or just get out of chair safely ,,!!!!!
Info Seeker
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎10-10-2009

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 247 of 278 (3,169 Views)

Yes I have been taking care of my wife now for the past three years. My friends no longer call or come by because they know I can't go anywhere .My wife has heart diease and needs both a hip and knee replacement. My stepchildren are useless .They won't come by and pick their mother up for a few hours to give me a break. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, but i promise her the day we were married 24 years ago that as long as I was able I would never put her in a nursing home.

Info Seeker
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎07-13-2014

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 248 of 278 (3,220 Views)

Hello Everyone,

    I am taking care of my hubby of 40 years. He has Hepatic Encelapathy, he's in end stage liver failure. He has been a heavy beer drinker for 35 years. He's always been pretty self centered (to say the least), but now, it's all about HIM. The disease is slowly but surely killing him, at this point, I'm not sure if it's going to take me first.  . 

   His b/p is dropping, to the point it has gotten so low he's gone into acute renal failure, twice. Hospice has become my lifesaver. An aide comes out 3 times a week to help bathe him. He had refused to bathe for over 2-3 weeks at a time, the aide coming put him on a regular schedule. Our Hospice nurse comes out 3 times a week, (look at me, I've claimed his nurse as ours), Hospice has been a life saver!!! I cannot stress just how much of a difference they have made, all to the good. 

   He gets "confused" (read crazy as a loon) He was driving, I literally had heart attacks every time he would stagger to the car or truck. They along with our family physician and a friendly local police officer, put a stop to that. He was falling constantly, my son had had to put his own life on hold to come live with us, just to help me, he was picking hubby up out of the floor, off the deck, off the ground, many times a week.  The peeps helped get himto using a rolling walkalator. And helped to get his meds adjusted to help with the balance. My son was able to move back out, but he comes by 3-6 times a week. I am just so thankful I have my son!! He is my hero, my rock, he is the one who has to listen to me vent, too. He has wide shoulders, at times he needs them.

    He has realized he is dying. He checks his b/p 10-12 times a day, he checks his o2 about the same. Hospice also got him a o2 concentrator. Some weeks I can run to town, pay bills, buy groceries, etc. Others, I have to get my son to come hubby sit. The last 2 weeks, he has been more stable than in months, physically. Mentally, he has been more clear of thought, in the last few days. 

   My hubby, teen age sweetheart, love of my life, has done a 360*, the sweet wonderful man is now a mean selfish monster, I keep telling myself it's the brain damage, but you can only lie to yourself for so long. He is a control freak that has lost control. I see him checking his bp, heart rate, etc and I realize he is scared of dying, yet, he does nothing to ease his fears, his, I'm sure, horrors. I caught myself remarking to him, after he had said something so hurtful,. . "If I was as scared of dying as you are, I wouldn't be picking fights with God." 

   Do any of you have any advice, any helpful hints? I'm so tired physically, and mentally that I'm not sure I'm going to make it. And yes, I know I have no choice except to make it. 

  Thank you!

    

Info Seeker
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎07-12-2014

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 249 of 278 (3,219 Views)

Hi  -     I take care of my husband who has vascular dementia and a myriad of other health issues which include heart, diabetes, and on and on.   I have been caring for him for 8 yrs.  I am glad I had read about this group in a recent AARP.   Like many of you I too feel alone in doing my caregiving as many people have faded out of our lives.  People mean well but the thought of following through is another thing.   Our sons live out of state and friends have retired and are not nearby.   I work full time during the school year which is belief it or not a respite.  I am currently able to leave my husband home alone since he has mild cognitive problems but keep my cell phone on me at all times in case he needs me.   Since I have been out of school being here full time is hardest and since I do it all.   I am glad to have found a place to find tools to cope with my new life.

Info Seeker
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎12-24-2010

Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

Message 250 of 278 (3,305 Views)
We don't have one. I'm exhausted all the time. After 4 years of caring for hubby 24/7 I don't have the energy to consider being romantic. I'm glad to get through the day. Not very encouraging, is it?