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Hello, my dad is not yet ready to allow me to hire a care giver. His short term memory is failing and he easily gets confused. He has asked me to see if there was someone he could "call" if he wanted to ask questions to or if he became confused someone he could talk to. Is there anything like this out there? We live in California. Thank you for any direction, I appreicate it.
Also note that if his questions are about Medicare or Social Security and he wants someone to make the call for him, both agencies have to have permission in his file to talk to a SPECIFIED person other than himself. Both of these agencies have sensitive info and so not just anybody can speak for them.
The same should be true at his doctors office or any medical provider -
people need to think ahead on matters such as this.
Think it might be time to sit down and have a heart to heart with both of them to make life matters, theirs and yours, a whole lot easier now and in the future. Planning makes a great difference.
@m623304g wrote:Hello, my dad is not yet ready to allow me to hire a care giver. His short term memory is failing and he easily gets confused. He has asked me to see if there was someone he could "call" if he wanted to ask questions to or if he became confused someone he could talk to. Is there anything like this out there? We live in California. Thank you for any direction, I appreicate it.
I think your Dad might need a friend who can handle things for him, visit and check on him once in a while. You aren't giving much info on his overall condition but memory loss and confusion is not something you want to mess around with - what does his doctor say about this and his overall condition.
If he was living in a senior independent living facility, if he is not ready for an assisted living facility, they would have staff to do the things which you say he has mentioned.
If he is living alone, it gets a little harder to find people to do wellness checks and answer questions over the phone - at least not at just one phone number.
There are paid personal care givers that can help with daily living things but as for questions, depending upon what they are, might involve speaking with a professional or the related service area.
It might help a bit more if you gave more details as to what is his general circumstances, health conditon, your proximity to him and more details as to what you are looking for ( questions - what kind ?).
Guess you could try to look at this website to see if there is something which you think will work for him. Eldercare.gov - Eldercare Locator
Hi Gail - thank you for responding. He lives with my mom. She is 86 and he is 88. His overall health is good. The doctor says this is common with someone his age. For example, he tried to close the vertical blinds with the tv remote this weekend. We are going with her medical opinion and viewing this as the norm. However, when he does get confused and I am at work ( I only live 1 mile from them ), he wants to be able to call someone and not bother me at work. I just don't know of any service that is available for "phone calls". I may just try to get a group together (friends and family) who can help with this. Thank you for the link on elder care. This does make me think however to possibly start a group that provides this type of service. Volunteer of course. All best, Mary
I searched for "california elder care hotline" and found a bunch of stuff but nothing like what your father wants. When i searched for California Counseling Hotline i found more stuff but mostly based by county.
What if you asked one of his relatives to BE that voice on the other end of the phone. Someone retired would be ideal. Be kind of 'on call' for your dad. If your dad could call "Aunt Edna" or "Henry" when he's feeling confused, a familiar voice might be just the thing. Someone who knows him would be better than a hotline staffer or volunteer. Just a thought.
My dad used to call me and my sister and his second wife on rotation while he was in a nursing home for 7 years. We just took his calls, and sometimes they were very short. But he had speed dial and knew he could at the very least hear our familiar voices on the answering message.
Gail's advice is right on, too.
When he does finally agree to an aide, he'll love her. Most of my clients when i was a care manager fought tooth and nail to keep them out. And then promptly adored the woman who came. Sometimes it took trying out one or two aides. But then, 'why didn't we do this before??"
What do you think?
Jane
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