03-25-2014 09:59 AM
Caregivers: Need to talk with an expert about safely managing an older loved one’s money and/or property? Then join our guest Naomi Karp from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to learn how to better shield your family member from scams and fraud.
Chat is from 2-3 pm ET this Thursday, March 27 on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/AARP/posts/10152292070188
Ask your questions here and Naomi will answer for a few days after the chat!
03-28-2014 04:46 PM
My mom's doing ok with her money now, but I know that might not be the case in the future. Are there signs that I should look out for that could indicate she needs some help?
03-28-2014 06:58 PM
Hi, Gena. If your mom starts having difficulty with financial matters, you might see some of the following things. She might have trouble with her checkbook and bank statement--for example, she might pay a bill twice, or forget to pay it at all, or she might just seem overwhelmed with dealing with bank transactions. Also, she might have trouble with making change or other aspects of handling cash. And, when people's financial capacity diminishes, they may start losing their judgment about whether something is a scam or a fraud. Keep an eye on her mail for signs of whether she may be falling for fake charities or other schemes....that might be a sign of financial vulnerability.
03-30-2014 09:37 AM
HI - Naomi Karp here as an AARP caregiving expert on financial caregiving. If you are managing money for a parent or other loved one, what are some of the challenges you are facing?
04-02-2014 01:05 PM
I have been caring for my wife for 6 years now, since she first was diagnosed with Alzheimers. There are times when I really miss her company, while she is in the room with me. She is not the same person , because she has already lost so much of her identitiy. But, that is easy to deal with , because she always took good care of me! I promised to take care of her, and I always will, god willing.
But, the problem is with our children, who have become used to using Dad as the checkbook, and don't seem to understand that those days are gone.
They come and ask for money, something came up, their bills are late, their car needs fixed, or their house needs a new fence. They don't offer to help care for Mom, but, they come and want a handout.
I know that someday I will need them to care for me, and it is hard to turn them down.
04-02-2014 03:34 PM
That is a tough situation. It sounds as if your kids need to face facts. These discussions are never easy, but you may need to lay out in specific terms your current financial situation and your concerns that you need your resources for your wife's care and your own future needs. I hope that you can find a way to convey your commitment and support for them as your children, while acknowledging current financial realities. And if you have concerns that your children will not be reliable and responsible financial caregivers for you if you ever need someone to manage your money, you probably need to think about whether there are any other options. It's a good idea for everyone to plan for a day when they may not be able to manage their finances and to designate someone to play that role, through a power of attorney or perhaps a trust. An elder law attorney may be able to help you think through the best way to plan for your own future, also understanding your role as a caregiver now. I hope that helps.