How Does Your Brain Score? Take the Staying Sharp Brain Health Assessment

Reply
Gold Conversationalist
Posts: 63
Registered: ‎06-08-2013

Re: Are non-profit nursing homes better than for profit ones?

Message 1 of 18 (558 Views)

When I started going to nursing homes for my mother's rehab with certain issues, I became a bit depressed as I was looking at my future (possibly).  It's not the nursing home that's scary, it's the possibility that you or one of your loved ones will end up in one.

 

In some cases, this may not be the case; but there are many who will not be able to escape it.  All you can do is take one day at a time and take the best possible care of yourself that you can.  Why because you can't prevent aging and there are many illnesses that can't be prevented either.

Trusted Social Butterfly
Posts: 6,668
Registered: ‎02-14-2008

Re: Are non-profit nursing homes better than for profit ones?

Message 2 of 18 (566 Views)

@LogicsHere

 

I posted earlier on this thread that I was a CNA for awhile. You have posted the most realistic picture of nursing homes, the staff, what goes on, and the process of placing someone there, that I have read on this site. 


“The world is a book. Those who do not travel read only one page.”
Gold Conversationalist
Posts: 63
Registered: ‎06-08-2013

Re: Are non-profit nursing homes better than for profit ones?

Message 3 of 18 (597 Views)

I had been looking over my mother for 5 years; 3 of those years she was able to live alone, the last 2 no.  I had to maintain my co-op apartment while at the same time move in to my mother's apartment for the last 2 years.  She is handicapped and needed handicap access which my apartment a second floor walkup could not accommodate.

 

A little over a year ago, I, reluctantly and fighting it for a period of 4 times that year, I had no choice but to place my mother in a nursing home.  I had been looking after her for almost 6 years when one day she woke up and said something was different.  From that point on she went into an "I hate Betty" mode. 

 

I had help only 20 hours a week and I was with her the other 148.  I lasted about 10 days listening to her tell me how much she hated me and asking why I hated her; until one day she went into a fit and started flinging things including her walker yelling (taking swings at me) and screaming at the top of her lungs expecting someone would hear her and call the police.  I couldn't deal with it any more.

 

I don't think that any nursing home is perfect; they're all short-staffed, have some CNA's and nurses who have come to hate their job but stay because they can't do or find anything else.  But if the truth be told, this job is NOT an easy job. I see some of these aides actually having to deal with several of the dementia patients making threats and taking swings at them and not be able to even say anything to them.  Do it yourself for any number of years and you'll find that out.  And it becomes even harder when the person has some sort of dementia related illness.

 

It took almost 6 months and three different medication changes to bring her back to "normal".  I visited my mother every day (until I ended up fracturing my shoulder and now am taking 1 day a week for myself) listening to her yell and scream at me; tell not only me but to all around her if she had a pill she'd take it.  I went home crying every night.  I would not have gotten through those 6 months if it hadn't been for many of the caring staff. 

 

True I did find one bad apple (and I'm sure there are others) and asked the nurse to take her off my mother's service which she did immediately.  True I'm not happy when my mother had to go to the bathroom and had to wait long periods of time. True I'm not happy that she can no longer stand without feeling like she was going to fall and now being placed in and out of bed via hoyer that they are getting her up much much later in the morning something I"m still working on having changed.  But with severe muscle damage in both my arms (only 2 tendons left on my left rotator cuff) I had to admit that I could not take care of her (170 lbs) any more.

 

It took almost 8 months for her to become acclimated to the facility; while I on the other hand still wish every day that she could still be here with me.  Mentioned above, I now am taking 1 day a week for myself because I need the breather, but I do visit with her the other 6.  We are now spending more quality time together (at home all she did was sleep) and have a good time playing games, sharing in the facilities activities and talking with her new friends.

 

Even in the best facilities, the quality of care your loved one is getting is totally up to you.  YOU have to show an interest in them.  YOU have to visit frequently and at different times of the day.  YOU have to speak up for them if you see they are not being cared for. 

 

After one bout of pneumonia which I had to insist them calling in a doctor, they have been proactive and nipping in the bud any signs of congestiveness.  They caught a small sore starting and immediately took steps to keep it from getting worse resulting in it being completely gone in 3 days. But it's also up to the family to be there for their loved one and make certain that if they see something developing that they catch it before it turns into a real problem.

Regular Social Butterfly
Posts: 533
Registered: ‎07-23-2010

Re: Are non-profit nursing homes better than for profit ones?

Message 4 of 18 (693 Views)
All nursing homes are just scary!  Poor care and poor help abound.  The profits they
make are obscene. I just hope me and mine never wind up in one!
Frequent Social Butterfly
Posts: 135
Registered: ‎05-04-2011

Re: Are non-profit nursing homes better than for profit ones?

Message 5 of 18 (704 Views)

a217298g wrote:

Dear Retired Traveler, 

 

About 15 years ago, my mother had to spend some time recovering from pneumonia, in a local nursing home.  Since I was her primary caretaker, although she was living in an assisted living facility, I was the only one of her kids who visited her almost every day.  One Friday, I had been extrememly busy and was only able to get to the nursing home, by around 8:30 PM.  Right away, I noticed that Mom was having trouble breathing.  I called in the nurse to come to examine her.  Apparently, there were no doctors around and, perhaps, not even in the building.  After seeing my mom, the nurse did call someone on the phone.  They told her that they would send my mom out for a chest X-ray on Monday morning.  Just by observing how labored my mother's breathing was getting, I told the nurse that, if she didn't call for an ambulance, right away, then I would!  Seeing how determined I was, she called for one, immediately.

 

I followed the ambulance to the nearby hospital, where my mother was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.  When I told her doctor what had happened at the nursing home, the phycian told me that, in his opinion, my mother would never had lasted until Monday and that I had done the right thing for my mom!  I am happy to report that my mother continued to live for another ten years, thanks to my stubbornness, and passed away at the honorable age of 86!  I continue to miss my mother every day!  I had always thought that that nursing home was a good one but, after that experience, I never left my mom in anything one else's care, without keeping a close eye on how my mom was doing, from day to day.


Visiting your family member in a nursing home is not only comforting to your loved one, but can also be life saving!

 

My father lived in a nursing home for 7 years until he finally passed. His wife visited him nearly every day, with my sister and i visiting several times a month. My sis would play bad cop and i'd play good cop, checking in on an amazing number of different Directors of Nursing, and sometimes calling the Ombudsman on the nursing home to complain. His wife KNEW, she just knew, when he was beginning to get sick, usually either a UTI or pneumonia. Sure enough. She saved his life so many times.

 

Your mother is very lucky to have such a dedicated daughter.

 

How do you juggle visiting her and your full and rich life?

 

Jane

Frequent Social Butterfly
Posts: 135
Registered: ‎05-04-2011

Re: Are non-profit nursing homes better than for profit ones?

Message 6 of 18 (705 Views)

bakerynana wrote:

I signed myself out of 2 nursing homes,am doing fine. I am a careing for my best frend for 40 years, got her out of a terrible place twice.she is back home now with caring nurses and doctor. I could wright a book on these dirty places. 


You sound like a survivor, Bakery Nana! Glad you wrote! And your best friend is a very lucky woman.

 

Jane

Frequent Social Butterfly
Posts: 135
Registered: ‎05-04-2011

Re: Are non-profit nursing homes better than for profit ones?

Message 7 of 18 (707 Views)

I'm so glad you wrote, Ms. Kimble. You were part of a family who decided to care for their own at home.  And then, your father was placed, and had a very bad experience. Being in that nursing home probably did shorten his life. I'm so sorry. There are lots of things you can do to avoid being placed in a nursing home. And there are agencies and jobs who's sole purpose is to make sure people are treated with dignity. Like ombudsmen. But all of that is too late for your dad. 

 

I hope your family can gather around you and all of your other brothers and siblings so you can take care of each other. 

 

Take care of yourself, and write more if you want to. There are so many stories that we all learn from, the good and the bad.

 

Jane

Info Seeker
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎01-16-2009

Re: Are non-profit nursing homes better than for profit ones?

Message 8 of 18 (888 Views)

I signed myself out of 2 nursing homes,am doing fine. I am a careing for my best frend for 40 years, got her out of a terrible place twice.she is back home now with caring nurses and doctor. I could wright a book on these dirty places. 

Conversationalist
Posts: 12
Registered: ‎04-11-2016

Re: Are non-profit nursing homes better than for profit ones?

[ Edited ]
Message 9 of 18 (1,142 Views)

I was living my father house before our mother pass away she ask me to take care of her husband I was 20year old. I said OK .see my siblings have their own family to rasisings . and I was the only one home . And did our mother have asthma and diabete. In 1984 she pass away in her sleep and die natural cause. And I started to take care of our father I didn't have a lot of help some of my my siblings children help but don't a lot .most of my two sisters want the money and the house. That's what my older sister talk about and other sister talk about. My other sister sister have wealth and she still wants the house and money.so she did decide put our father in nurse home .that when things went wrong. It was young black lady  push a donut in our father mouth and our father throw up the donut. I told her that our father eat slow she didn't listen ahead time. After that our father was on feeding tube the doctor and the nurse didn't listen to me they only listen my sister she kept telling them she is power of attorney and don't listen to my little sister. And that months our father pass away. I telling myself that I take good care of our parents and I was a good care take. I don't like to call African American but our parents was in the south. They were not born in Africa. My whole family is black Americans and I told myself I'll not go to a nurse home ever . From Anne Kimble 

Info Seeker
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎10-24-2016

Re: Are non-profit nursing homes better than for profit ones?

Message 10 of 18 (1,199 Views)

Dear Retired Traveler, 

 

About 15 years ago, my mother had to spend some time recovering from pneumonia, in a local nursing home.  Since I was her primary caretaker, although she was living in an assisted living facility, I was the only one of her kids who visited her almost every day.  One Friday, I had been extrememly busy and was only able to get to the nursing home, by around 8:30 PM.  Right away, I noticed that Mom was having trouble breathing.  I called in the nurse to come to examine her.  Apparently, there were no doctors around and, perhaps, not even in the building.  After seeing my mom, the nurse did call someone on the phone.  They told her that they would send my mom out for a chest X-ray on Monday morning.  Just by observing how labored my mother's breathing was getting, I told the nurse that, if she didn't call for an ambulance, right away, then I would!  Seeing how determined I was, she called for one, immediately.

 

I followed the ambulance to the nearby hospital, where my mother was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.  When I told her doctor what had happened at the nursing home, the phycian told me that, in his opinion, my mother would never had lasted until Monday and that I had done the right thing for my mom!  I am happy to report that my mother continued to live for another ten years, thanks to my stubbornness, and passed away at the honorable age of 86!  I continue to miss my mother every day!  I had always thought that that nursing home was a good one but, after that experience, I never left my mom in anything one else's care, without keeping a close eye on how my mom was doing, from day to day.