AARP’s New Video Explains the Perils of the Health Care Bill in Storybook Fashion. Watch Here

Info Seeker
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎09-27-2013

Re: Any LGBT caregivers out there? Or caregivers to LGBT folks?

Message 11 of 12 (2,171 Views)

Hello Jane,

I am a lesbian caregiver of my 83 year old stepmother who is in good physical health with a little memory loss. She is truly a stereotypical woman of her generation, never working outside of the home after marriage, and her husband, my dad, and managing everything. And in old age she is pretty much the same. She attends day care 4 days a week (God Bless the Downtown Clusters in Washington, DC!) and lives with my wife and I. I am her primary caregiver. 

A challenge that has consumed us from time to time and that has raised its ugly head again is: how can we slip away when we want to escape for a weekend or a week? How do we hire a "grand-ma sitter?"  Is there any such person, place or thing?!

We're going on vacation for a week  There is no on in her family she can stay with or wants to stay with LOL! We've thought about hiring an LPN or an aide, but they are ghastly expensive and bring a skillset that we don't necessarily need. Our solution to our vacation challenge is that she'll stay with my son and his family, event though they both work and have a little one, and he's watched at home. But what we really want is some sort of adult overnight camp like the day care center where she can spend the week  - a vacation of sorts for her; while we are out.  


Dr. Imani
Frequent Social Butterfly
Posts: 196
Registered: ‎05-04-2011

Any LGBT caregivers out there? Or caregivers to LGBT folks?

Message 12 of 12 (2,104 Views)

Hey there, caregivers.


Are any of you LGBT? Or do you care for a person who is L, G, B or T?


That article here on aarp is a pretty good overview of the issues. How to provide care when either you yourself are gay (or lesbian or bisexual or trans) or, how to provide care to someone you love who is LGBT.  There is a legitimate concern of aging gay folks, that they will be rejected for their sexuality, which is only one part of who they are, but an important part. Perhaps a gay uncle didn't come out of the closet to his family until his 60s, and now's he 87 and needs help, but is afraid to have a home health aide start praying over him once they discover he's gay. And he really doesn't want to have to go back in the closet if he needs the supervision and support of an assisted livng facility or a nursing home.


I am a lesbian, and a medical geriatric social worker. I've taken care of both my parents, now deceased, and i have a partner who has multiple sclerosis. I wonder if there are folks reading these messages in the caregiving community who'd like to talk about this. Tips, stories, adventures, revelations.


Anybody out there???  "Out" and about???