Death of my spouse

[ss36335099]

My husband of 43 years passed away on Christmas morning here in our home. He had heart disease but was recently assured by his doctors at Stanford that he would feel much better after undergoing a valve replacement procedure that was scheduled for Jan. 12th. His death was a real shock to me as I spoke with him only 20 minutes before he passed. I gave him CPR until the paramedics arrived and worked on him for 45 minutes, but he could not be revived. I am doing pretty well during the day, but around 4:30 in the evening I feel very lonely and anxious about my future to the point that I feel shaky inside. This goes on for the next four hours or so. I am sleeping well because I am getting up around 5 or 5:30 every morning. Does anyone have any ideas on how to stop my mind from going out of control?

[mc6844]

So sorry for the loss of your dear husband. 43 yrs is a long time. Perhaps during the anxious time of day you could take an exercise class or activity. The YWCA and YMCA have lots of options. Events geared to what you're going through. An exercise group for that difficult time of day. You'll meet nice people there. You're doing well already, posting here. It will help to lighten your grief. Things will get better. 

[SIMPLEGAL]

My deepest sympathy to you and your family.  I hope you have been able to find some peace and hope as you adjust to your situation.  It is difficult to accept life without those we love...but there are a lot of people who will help you as you go along.

[SummerIsTooHOT]

(3/9/24) @ss36335099 , how are you doing? 💙💙💙

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[*** @ss36335099 wrote:

My husband of 43 years passed away on Christmas morning here in our home. He had heart disease but was recently assured by his doctors at Stanford that he would feel much better after undergoing a valve replacement procedure that was scheduled for Jan. 12th. His death was a real shock to me as I spoke with him only 20 minutes before he passed. I gave him CPR until the paramedics arrived and worked on him for 45 minutes, but he could not be revived. I am doing pretty well during the day, but around 4:30 in the evening I feel very lonely and anxious about my future to the point that I feel shaky inside. This goes on for the next four hours or so. I am sleeping well because I am getting up around 5 or 5:30 every morning. Does anyone have any ideas on how to stop my mind from going out of control? ***]

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[mc6844]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.  A counselor and support groups really help. The people on this forum offer good suggestions. Also the YWCA/YMCA offer all kinds of programs to help you through bereavment. Take care! 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

(4 comments) Hi @ss36335099 , I AM SO SORRY for your loss!!!  😭

Some of us are in Counseling or Support Groups. This seems to help...

[ss36335099]

Yes, I am planning on joining a support group but since this is a holiday weekend I can't reach anyone until Tuesday.

[mc6844]

How are you doing? Have you found some resources? Stopped in at the forum?  Please let us know how you are. Take care!

[mc6844]

There are available online counselors you can access for free. Also hospitals, etc. can connect you to a Chaplain for spiritual support. Family/friends love and care about you. Except it will be a time of mourning and confusion for them too, since they are also grieving. But you can all lean on each other and get through this rocky time. 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

Hi @ss36335099 , talking with people who CARE about you and reading. Maybe your hobbies.